


it ebbs, flows, dear hope, who knows

by tigerlo



Category: Emmerdale
Genre: F/F, RCVS Ball, This is a whole lot of fluff, Vanity Fest 2018, a prompt that Amy started writing over a year ago, and is mostly ridiculous, and was written for vanityfest last year, but also just a bit of fun, so it's pre-engagement, that's how slow I am in getting this finished
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-27
Updated: 2019-12-29
Packaged: 2020-10-29 09:43:36
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 15,953
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20794604
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tigerlo/pseuds/tigerlo
Summary: Vanessa takes Charity to the RCVS Ball, and a weekend away at a country hotel.





	1. One.

**Author's Note:**

> It's been a long few months since I actually posted fic so please be kind. I know this isn't up to my usual standard but it's taken about every inch of energy I have to finally post it, so I hope you can enjoy it for what it is, probable errors and all. 
> 
> I think there'll be one more chapter but I might split it into two if it looks a little unwieldy.
> 
> x

.

  
  


“You can’t wear that,” is the first thing Chas says flatly when Charity walks out wearing the dress dredged from the back of her wardrobe. 

She’s more than a little pleased it fits, truth be told, ignoring the comment from Chas and smoothing the leopard print fabric down over her hips, turning in the mirror to admire herself. The smile falls cleanly from her lips when she catches the look on Debbie’s face though, because Chas’s opinion is one thing, but Debbie’s is… 

“I think it’s probably bad taste to wear animal print to a vet do, mum,” Debbie adds with a frown, crossing her legs from where she’s perched on the end of Charity’s bed. 

“I don’t think your mother’s in the habit of caring much about what’s distasteful and what’s not, love,” Chas laughs, looking to Debbie. “Nice try though.”

“Alright,” Charity snaps, stomping back to her wardrobe to rifle through it some more. “This’ll be the last time I let the pair of you back here to help.”

“Help, exactly,” Chas says, raising both hands in exasperation. “You wanted help, didn’t you? And we’re helping by telling you  _ not _ to wear that.” 

“It’s not that it looks bad, mum, it’s just… well these things are supposed to be posh, aren’t they?” Debbie says with the tact that Chas lacks completely. “And you want to look nice for Vanessa, don’t you? Have you seen what she’s wearing?”

“No,” Charity says moodily, not bothering to turn around and face them, speaking to the wardrobe instead. “Won’t bloody show me, will she? Wants it to be a  _ surprise _ .”

“She might show us though?” Debbie replies, shrugging when Charity throws a look over her shoulder. “Then we could help figure out what you could wear to match?”

“Exactly,” Chas says with a barely suppressed smirk. “We ask Miss-Newly-Instated-Vet, and then we can take you shopping to make sure that whatever you get is right.”

“Right for the boring brigade, maybe,” Charity scoffs under her breath, spinning around when she feels a pillow taken from off the bed hit her in the back. 

“I think the words you’re looking for are  _ thank you _ , you grumpy cow,” Chas says, a second pillow already in hand. “And I’d love for someone to offer to take me shopping, so I dunno what the problem is.”

“Alright, fine,” Charity returns, narrowing her eyes as she walks over to the bed, flopping down dramatically on her stomach in between the both of them and breathing into the quilt cover. She takes a deep breath, pushing herself up onto her hands when the dress prohibits her movement and the muscles between her ribs cramp. “Now,” she growls, “someone hurry up and undo this dress, will you? It’s that bloody tight I might pass out.”

.

Charity has never really done the  _ girl’s day  _ thing before, she’s never really had friends enough to do it even if she wanted to, so to say she’d been apprehensive before today would be a bloody understatement. 

Vanessa’s taken her on more than a few dates now, but it’s different with her, everything is easy, nothing is ever awkward unless she wants to make it so, but she’s never really done the family bonding thing successfully with either Debbie or Chas. She’s pleasantly surprised then, when it doesn’t turn out to be a completely horrible day. 

“Thought we might have to traipse through every bloody shop in Hotten to find something for you, you know?” Chas says, perched on a seat outside the changing room of a shop Debbie had dragged her into. “But I don’t think we’ll find something better than that short of going into London.”

“It looks nice, mum,” Debbie offers, standing behind her to zip her up properly. “Really, really nice.”

It takes her a while to gather the courage to actually stare in the mirror and look at herself, focussing on Debbie’s reflection for a moment instead, because she knows how she looks. She’s had men buy her nice things like this her whole life, always with a bucketful of expectations after they’d done so, and it takes her a second to bite back the memory of their hands rough on her skin, tearing the seams in their haste to take what they thought they paid for. 

This is different though, it’s different now because she can buy her own bloody dress and the hands that take her out of her clothes aren’t rough and careless; they’re soft and patient and bold, just like the voice at her neck that whispers as her hands move down Charity’s back, soothing, trying to ease years of suffering. The hands now want her, all of her,  _ Vanessa _ wants all of her. She doesn’t want the silhouette of her body that she can manipulate into something else in her mind like the men she used to sleep with would. 

Vanessa does a lot for her, for them both, Charity knows she does, which is why she entertained the idea of this stupid ball in the first place. Vanessa had been beside herself with excitement at being able to practise again, at being a part of their swotty little community again that Charity hadn’t been able to say no when Vanessa had invited her. Not that she can say no to Vanessa at any other point and time, but still, this is important to Vanessa, so it’s important to her. 

She wonders sometimes when she turned into this person who cares about someone else’s happiness more than her own. She wonders too when she stopped worrying that she had. 

The strapless black floor-length cocktail dress clings to her in a way that she thinks would probably be illegal if she cared enough about the law to worry, and which is likely to turn every second head in that room when she walks in there on Vanessa’s arm, which means that it’s perfect, of course. 

“That girl is gonna lose it when she sees you in this,” Chas says. Her tone is begrudging but Charity catches the way the corner of her mouth turns up in a smile. Chas sighs before opening her mouth again. “God, I can imagine it already. It’ll be all we flamin’ hear about for weeks.”

“I bloody hope so,” Charity replies when she picks up the price tag. “Costs enough that I should probably wear it for that long to get my money's worth.”

“I think you’ll get your money’s worth when she sees you,” Debbie says quietly, her hands unusually gentle on Charity’s shoulders. “You look amazing, mum.”

“Yes, yes, your mother constantly defies gravity and science to look that good at her age,” Chas deadpans, rolling her eyes. “Just goes to show you her deal with the devil is alive and well, doesn’t it.”

“Oi, what do you mean  _ at her age? _ Not so different in years are you and I,” Charity snaps, throwing Chas a scowl before gesturing for Debbie to help her out of the dress again. 

She feels sufficiently full of herself and free of her shadows by the time she reaches the counter, more than alright to reply to the cashier’s  _ lucky man, your boyfriend,  _ with an overly pleasant, “I think you’ll be meaning my girlfriend, and yes, she is.”

Charity’s about ready to pack it in for the day as they walk from the shop in the wake of a particularly flummoxed assistant, but there’s one more thing she wants to get here with a little more choice to hand. 

“Er, you might be on your own picking that stuff out, love,” Chas says when Charity pulls them to a stop outside a lingerie shop. 

“Fine by me,” Charity says with an eye roll, shoving the packaged dress into Chas’s arms. “Wait for me in the car then.”

She’s surprised when Debbie follows behind her, trying not to smile when Debbie shrugs casually, like it doesn’t mean the whole bloody world that she had followed her mother in support without word or argument. Vanessa’s been good for all of them, in actual fact. Her relationship with Debbie and Noah is better than it has been in years thanks to Vanessa’s occasional boot under the table, pinch in the side or gentle word in her ear reminding her to  _ be patient  _ or _ calm down.  _ She would begrudge anyone else the familiarity, that they thought they had the right to tell her what to do, but she doesn’t even bother arguing with Vanessa when she does it anymore, just sighing dramatically instead and trying to ignore the way Debbie and Noah smile when they can see her temper herself at Vanessa’s advice. 

“Can’t have you self-sabotage that dress, can I?” Debbie says, linking her arm through Charity’s as they walk through the shop. “Even if I’ll have the mental image of Vanessa looking smug as hell when she sees you in it plastered in my brain forever and a day.”

“I don’t know whether you get your tact from me or your father sometimes,” Charity grumbles as they break apart to look at separate racks. 

There’s plenty of nice scrappy little pieces to look at, including a number of things that Charity knows would have Vanessa speechless in seconds, but none of them are quite right, none of them until Debbie holds up a lacy strapless bra and pants, both a deep red, from the other end of the store. 

_ Perfect _ , she thinks as she whips it out of Debbie’s hand to pay for it. _Just perfect._

  
  


.

  
  


“Are you really not going to show me what you bought?” Vanessa asks moodily, trying to look around Charity’s body to catch a glance of the garment bag she’s desperately trying to hide at her back. 

“No, I’m really not,” Charity replies, holding it up and out of Vanessa’s reach with a smirk. 

That stops her in her tracks, exactly as Charity had hoped it would. She takes a step back, crossing her arms and glaring at Charity instead of trying to fight her for it and Charity can’t help but allow the smirk to grow at the frustrated expression on Vanessa’s face. 

“If the words  _ nose _ ,  _ cute  _ or  _ moody  _ come out of your mouth, you’ll be sleepin’ on the couch for a week,” Vanessa says with a scowl, turning on her heel.

She only manages a step or two before Charity discards her purchases on the bed and pulls a reluctant Vanessa into her arms. “It’s all well and good when you’re doing the hiding isn’t it, babe?” Charity says sweetly, splaying her hands across the width of Vanessa’s back between her shoulder blades. 

“Can’t I just have a tiny look?” Vanessa chances, trying to look around Charity, squirming when Charity tightens her grip instead, effectively locking Vanessa in place. 

“Will you let me see yours?” Charity asks brightly, looking over Vanessa’s shoulder to the wardrobe where her own closed garment bag hangs, despite the fact that Vanessa’s threatened to take it to her father or Rhona’s to stop her looking at it. 

“No, but-“ Vanessa answers but Charity’s already shaking her head. 

“Then the answer is a  _ no _ , isn’t it?” Charity replies. “Why do you want to see it anyway? Do you not trust I’d get something appropriate enough for your posh ball?”

“You know that’s not it, of course I trust you,” Vanessa deadpans and Charity smiles despite the scowl she’s trying to hold on her face. It’s not something many people have offered Charity in her life, their trust. Not even her own bloody kids give her that, but somehow, via some miracle, Vanessa does. 

“What is it, then? Why so keen, eh?” Charity asks, genuinely curious. “I’m afraid if you can’t even tell me that, then you’re definitely not even getting a hint until the-“

“Alright,” Vanessa sighs, just short of stamping her foot on the bedroom floor. “I’ve not been able to stop thinking about what you might look in a cocktail dress since you said you’d be my date, alright? That’s the reason. And if you let me see the dress it might tide me over until the ball or stop my mind wandering every other second so I can actually concentrate on something that’s not that.”

“ _ Oh _ ,” Charity says, catching the way Vanessa’s eyes darken at the change in her tone, sliding her hands lower, around the curve of Vanessa’s backside. “Well, I can’t let you see the dress, but maybe I can give you something else to think about for an hour or so.”

“Two,” Vanessa says as she allows Charity to press her against the bed. “At least. The boys are with Tracy at dad’s for the night, remember?”

“So they are,” Charity answers, slipping her hands beneath Vanessa’s jumper, fingers dancing over her hip, smiling when Vanessa sighs at the contact. “Best make it three then, hadn’t we? Just for good measure.” 

  
  


.

  
  


Charity knows it’s ridiculous to be nervous because she’s faced far worse than a massive room full of toffs before, but she’s so agitated by the thought of them giving her a side-eye or whispering something under their breath that she’s about ready to throw the bloody towel in and tell Vanessa she’s come down with a crook gut and can’t go. 

That is until she gets a message and photo from Tracy of the back of Vanessa’s dress, a little preview, of all the skin on show.  _ That _ makes her mind up.  _ That _ eliminates the last of her nerves and fills the pit of her stomach with something else. She can hardly let Vanessa walk into a place full of men that have only seen the arse end of a cow and not a woman looking like that unescorted, can she?

They’re getting made up separately so that they don’t see each other until they’re ready to go and Charity had made some joke about this _ not being a bloody wedding _ , expecting Vanessa to baulk or frown, receiving a, “no, but it’ll be good practice for when you marry me, won’t it,” instead. 

She’d always had a strange relationship with marriage. She had craved it as a child and then a young woman, moving from customer to customer; had craved the permanence, had craved the safety it was supposed to represent, but the joke had been on her in the end because her marriages had been the most dangerous places of all. 

It used to be an agenda item in a relationship, to get men to marry her, to situate herself in a position where she could chip away at their wealth as soon as possible, and it’s an enormous irony that Vanessa is possibly the poorest partner she’s had in one way, while being the wealthiest in another. It had only taken her forty years to realise love and affection - true love and affection - were more valuable than anything else in the world. There’s a part of her that fears marrying Vanessa will ruin everything, that the reason this is different is because they haven’t said an empty  _ I do  _ yet like she had with everyone else, but she thinks deep-down she knows that’s not the case. She thinks she knows that deep down Vanessa will be the last person she ever marries, if they do decide to tie the proverbial knot. 

“Stop fidgeting,” Debbie snaps as she tries to finish the last of her makeup. “You’re making this impossible.”

“Watch that lip, kid,” Charity says, narrowing her eye at Debbie when she pulls back from the mascara application. 

“It’s going to be fine, alright?” Debbie sighs, placing a hand firmly on Charity’s shoulder and leaning in so she can finish her job. “Don’t be nervous, Vanessa won’t want to let go of you for a second all night, I can guarantee that.”

“First off, I’m not nervous, thank you very much,” Charity asserts, “and two, how do you know that when I haven’t even got my dress on yet?” she asks, gesturing to the robe hiding the red lingerie she’d bought the same day as the dress. “Might look bleedin’ awful.”

“Do you ever think you’ve genuinely looked awful in a dress before?” Debbie asks her with a raised eyebrow. 

“No,” Charity answers sulkily, her hands twisting in the belt of her robe. “Of course not, I’m fabulous, but there’s a first time for everything, isn’t there?”

“Trust me, it’s not going to be tonight,” Debbie says, licking her thumb to wipe a smudge of something off Charity’s cheek. “Right, I think you’re done.”

“How’s it coming along, madam?” Chas asks, walking in through the door with her hands on her hips. “Almost done? Your lady is waiting downstairs for you in the car.”

“Keep your  _ madam’s _ to yourself, thank you very much,” Charity says, pointing her finger at Chas while Debbie pulls her up into a standing position with the other. “Or I’m going to give you something else to think about. Don’t think I won’t make us late to make sure I do a good job of it, either.”

Debbie just sighs, ignoring the threat to Chas and helping Charity out of her robe and into the dress laid out on the bed without another word. She sucks her tummy in as Debbie zips her up, taking one last swing of the glass of bubbles on the bedside table before turning to look at herself in the mirror. 

“You look gorgeous, mum,” Debbie says, putting her hands on Charity’s shoulders, peering over them. “Really.”

She doesn’t think Debbie’s ever been this relaxed with her, ever; never this patient, or this kind. Vanessa has softened them all in one way or another, whether she knows it or not. Debbie through Charity rather than directly, but still, the results are the same. They feel like a family now in a way that Charity’s not sure they ever have before. 

“Thanks, babe,” Charity says in reply, resting her hand over Debbie’s for a moment before sighing, breaking the moment before it gets too sentimental. 

“You’d best get a move on,” Chas says, handing Charity her overnight bag and a shawl to keep the chill off her shoulders. “I doubt she’ll wait for much longer without tooting the bloody horn if you’re not down there in a minute. Right bossy thing she is, for someone so small.”

“I know,” Charity returns, her chest warm with the thought of Vanessa: frown plastered to her forehead as she waits downstairs, tapping her fingers against the steering wheel. “It’s good, isn’t it?”

Chas rolls her eyes and makes some vague noise of disapproval at Charity’s waggling eyebrows, giving her a shove for good measure as she’s trying to slide her feet into her heels. 

“Oi, watch it, you,” Charity scowls back at Chas. “Don’t push it. Ness will kill you herself if she has to take someone with a black eye to this stupid thing.”

“You’re right,” Chas says, a smirk curling the corner of her mouth as she stands with her arms crossed over her chest by the back door, waiting for Charity to walk through it. “I’m almost sure I could take  _ you _ in a scrap but I don’t think I could take her.”

She touches Charity on the arm quickly before she pulls the door open and a rush of cold air hits Charity hard enough to make her shiver. She’s expecting Vanessa to be huddled inside the warm car but she’s not, she’s standing,  _ leaning _ against the side of the door of the car and she looks so stunning that Charity has to pinch a bit of bare skin to remind herself that this is real. 

“Well, don’t you look posh?” Chas says to Vanessa, nodding her head in approval, and Charity is almost inclined to argue because posh doesn’t even begin to do it justice. 

She’s wearing a deep navy dress with long sleeves made of a see-through lace that turns solid silk at the level of Vanessa’s cleavage, and it would almost be reserved if it weren’t for the deeply plunging neckline or the split up the dress that doesn’t stop until half-way up the side of Vanessa’s thigh. 

She can feel Vanessa’s eyes on her like they have a physical weight, much the same as what she’s sure her own gaze feels like over Vanessa’s skin. She waits about five seconds, giving Vanessa just enough time to take her all in - and for her to do the same in return - before she drops the overnight bag unceremoniously on the cobbled path, closing the three steps between her and Vanessa. Her arm curls around the curve of Vanessa’s lower back as she leans into Vanessa’s still warm body, pressing her against the car with her hips. They’re almost kissing but not quite, and she can feel Vanessa’s breath quick and excited mixing with her own, a cloud of white in the cold air. She catches Vanessa’s eye brieftly, only for a second or so before she moves closer, running her tongue along Vanessa’s bottom lip before kissing her deeply. 

She can hear Debbie and Chas making one rude comment or another behind her but it’s all just white noise, everything is when she kisses Vanessa, but especially when she kisses Vanessa like this. It’s a quick kiss but it’s not chaste, Vanessa’s tongue moving hotly over hers as her hands clutch a little desperately at Charity’s hips, trying to pull her closer. 

“You look edible, babe,” Charity breathes against her when she drags herself away. “Absolutely edible. So much so that I think we should skip the ball and go straight up to the room when we get there.”

Vanessa opens her mouth to reply but she’s interrupted by Chas clearing her throat roughly behind them. Charity summons her best  _ bugger-off  _ face and turns to glare at Chas, her arm still warm around Vanessa’s waist. 

“Please for the love of god keep Paddy away from that bar,” Chas says with a tight eye to the both of them. “If I can’t be there to control him and his stupid old mates from drinking the place dry, you’ll have to do it for me.”

“Sure you’re alright here to hold down the fort?” Charity asks Chas as she turns to face her, pulling Vanessa closer to her side to stave off the cold for another second. 

“Bit late if I wasn’t alright, isn’t it?” Chas replies flatly but she smiles reluctantly anyway. “I think I’ll survive one night without you lot while you’re off making fools of yourselves in a room full of wankers - ah - I mean your colleagues, Vanessa, sorry.”

“Speaking of which,” Vanessa says to Chas dryly, squeezing her hand at Charity’s hip. “We’d best be off, I think.”

“Don’t burn the bloody place down, alright?” Charity grumbles, pointing her finger at Chas before picking her bag up, opening the car door and throwing it in while Vanessa walks around to the driver’s door. 

“Significantly lower chance of that happening without you here, actually,” Chas parries smartly, glaring at her. “Now, get out of here before I change my mind and get in that car instead.”

“See you in the morning,” Debbie says to her as she slides into the passenger's seat. Charity gives her a quick wink before closing the door and looking to Vanessa across the centre console. 

“You’re lucky I can barely move in this dress or I’d be having you before you even started the car, spectators be damned,” Charity says, leaning over and wrapping her fingers around Vanessa’s chin, pulling her in for one more kiss. 

“The sentiment is shared, I can assure you,” Vanessa says roughly when Charity pulls away. “You look… wow, Charity. Just wow.”

“Not a drop on you though, babe,” Charity replies, allowing her eyes to move over Vanessa’s body again, following the view right down the middle of her chest. “Maybe we ought to do more of this rubbish, especially if it means I get to see you dressed up like this.”

“Speaking of _ this rubbish _ ,” Vanessa says begrudgingly, finally turning the car on and pulling out onto the road. “Are you sure you don’t mind coming to the actual dinner-thing? We’ve got the whole weekend there, so it’s alright if you don’t.”

“Want me to hide away in case I say something embarrassing, do you?” Charity asks with a hint of bristle, of defensiveness, in her voice. 

“No,” Vanessa deadpans, reaching over and squeezing Charity’s knee in reassurance. “No, I know you’ll say something embarrassing whether I try to stop it or not, no point in worrying about that. I’m more worried about every man in sight hitting on you if I step away for longer than a second.”

“Good thing I’ll be glued to your side all night then, isn’t it?” Charity says. She can hear how much Vanessa is trying to keep this light and completely distanced from her line of thought, but insecurity creeps in around the edges sometimes, regardless. 

“Promise?” Vanessa asks, the playfulness that Charity’s expecting in her tone not present there. 

“Course, Ness. You won’t be able to get rid of me,” Charity replies with a wink. Vanessa’s resultant smile still doesn’t quite reach her eyes, so she presses her again. “Is there something else bothering you, babe?” 

“No,” Vanessa sighs, taking her hand back and glueing it to the wheel alongside the other. Charity isn’t buying the casual reply though so she holds her eyeline until Vanessa sighs. “I’m nervous as hell, alright? Everybody knows where I’ve been for the last year, or rather not been. Everyone knows I’ve been bloody barred, painted with some grubby brush even though it’s done with now. They don’t half make a song and dance about it when it happens, it’s not like anyone can miss it, not even if they’re living under a rock. I just don’t… I’m embarrassed, alright. Not because of you, I’m proud of you, so proud, but…I just feel a fool about the rest.”

“Lucky I’m comin’ with you then, isn’t it?” Charity says, running a soothing touch over Vanessa’s knee, watching her eyes fill with tears. “They’ll all be far too busy looking at the gorgeous bird on your arm and talking about the fact that you’re a  _ lesbian  _ to even mention that nonsense with the ketamine, won’t they? And if anyone makes a big deal about it, I’ll lamp them, posh ball or not.”

“My bodyguard, as well as my date, eh?” Vanessa says a little nervously, but Charity thinks she sees some of the tension fade with her breath. 

“Too right, babe, and woe anyone that comes between us all night, let me tell you that right now,” Charity says fiercely, watching as finally,  _ finally, _ Vanessa allows a hint of a smile to creep across her face. 

“You promise you won’t leave me?” Vanessa asks, and Charity can see that it’s the last lick of weakness she’ll allow herself before they arrive at the hotel. “You’ll stay nice and close?”

“Wild horses, babe. Nice and close, yeah,” Charity affirms, taking Vanessa’s hand when she offers to, raising it to her mouth, pressing a kiss to the bumps of her knuckles. “Besides,” she says dramatically, “who the bloody hell would I want to talk to there even I was inclined to wander off? I mean the vet thing is  _ dead _ -boring when your girlfriend isn’t flamin’ gorgeous, isn’t it?”

.

  
  


They don’t have the opportunity to freshen up in their room by the time they arrive, the concierge just whisks their bags away and the receptionist presses a key into Vanessa’s hand and then they’re directed off into the main ballroom with a collective group of the most unattractive people Charity has ever seen in her life. 

That’s saying something given she lives in Emmerdale, because by Christ, the Royal College of Veterinarians could use an influx of young blood, that’s for flaming sure. Vanessa and Rhona and even Zoe are apparently the exceptions, she thinks to herself, as she looks around a room full of  _ Paddy’s _ before the man himself shuffles over with Rhona and Pete-the-farmer looking rather polished in a suit and tie. 

It would have been easy to be completely herself, abrasive and flippant and totally unwilling to engage in conversation with people that could bore a stone to tears, but this means something to Vanessa, she knows it does, and god knows Vanessa’s been through hell and back for her in the last few months so it’s the least she can do to behave for a few hours. 

Besides, it’s easy to plaster a smile on her face as she hangs off of Vanessa’s arm, it’s easy to ask simple questions of the people who are far too busy ogling the two of them and the way Charity pauses to press the occasional kiss to Vanessa’s neck. It gives her plenty of time to think of everything she can do to Vanessa the second they’re alone in that hotel room, of how loud she might be able to get Vanessa to scream and how thoroughly she might be able curl the chest-hair of every conservative Kim-Tate type present. 

“It’s different, watching you like that,” Vanessa says when they have a rare moment to themselves after the others duck off to get another drink. 

They’re sitting close at one of the tables, facing each other, their knees touching. Charity feels breathless for a reason she can’t quite put her thumb on as her fingers drift over Vanessa’s thigh and they steal the moment to just look at each other; without distractions, without punters and children and incessant, never-ending noise. She feels light in spite of everything, almost like she’s enjoying herself. It’s foreign but not unwanted. It’s welcome, actually. Very, very welcome. 

“Like what, babe?” Charity asks, her fingers slipping beneath the silk of Vanessa’s dress to dance along the bare skin there. 

Vanessa’s breath catches so quietly when she does so, almost too quiet to catch but just enough that she does, so she allows the touch to linger. “I’m not sure,” Vanessa replies, not taking her eyes off Charity’s for a second, her smile reaching them easily. 

“If you say  _ I didn’t know you could be nice _ , so help me god, Vanessa, I will take the car right now and leave you to walk home,” Charity says, raising an eyebrow suspiciously, but Vanessa only laughs, tipping her head to revel in the quick moment of joy. 

It’s a special thing, that; making Vanessa laugh. It makes her feel more powerful than any heist ever did. Any con. Any job where the only benefit or gain was whittled away before she could think to enjoy it. 

“No, I mean the way you are when you’re away from everyone in the pub, or in the village,” Vanessa explains, her own hands moving to bracket the outside of Charity’s knees. There’s something in her gaze when she speaks that makes Charity feel special,  _ loved  _ even. “I mean, when you don’t have to defend yourself or hold your guard up. How you are when no one knows  _ who _ you are.”

“Is it different, then?” Charity asks, genuinely curious. She knows she’s different around strangers, but she’s always just assumed it was because she was trying to scope them out and watch for anything wary in a way she didn’t have to with people she already knew inside out. 

“It is,” Vanessa nods, and Charity can’t help but think she sounds almost sad. “You look free.”

Vanessa reaches for her hand when she finishes speaking, entwining their fingers together, squeezing hard and looking into her eyes again. She takes a deep breath that looks so good Charity echoes it before she speaks.

“Maybe we should run away from it all, then?” Vanessa says in a way where Charity knows that she’s only half-joking. Because she knows that Vanessa would do anything to take her away from the things that have hurt her in the past, would probably do anything in the world to give her a fresh start. 

“Maybe we should,” Charity says with a shrug, watching the lines of Vanessa’s face carefully, like they might reveal something she’s not saying. 

“I’m serious,” Vanessa says, pulling Charity closer to her so that her knees slide between Vanessa’s. “Have you ever thought about it?”

“Occasionally,” Charity admits quietly, because she has. “But we can’t, can we? We’ve got whole bloody families here, the both of us.”

“The boys could come, Debbie’s grown and Cain’s still there for her, and Moira too,” Vanessa says softly. Her voice is gentle enough that Charity knows this is still a hypothetical, that she’s not actually pressuring Charity to do anything. “You’re allowed to do things for you sometimes, you know,” she adds. “You’re allowed to dream for you.”

“I can hear the taunts now,” Charity replies, rolling her eyes. “Charity Dingle, selfish-bitch extraordinaire, abandons family.” She scoffs almost painfully. “I’ve been making selfish decisions for years, babe, they wouldn’t see this as any different.”

“The people who know us would understand, the ones whose opinions actually counted,” Vanessa returns, rubbing her thumb over Charity’s knee. “I’m not asking you to think seriously about it, I just want you to know that I’d do anything for you, including that, move, if that’s what you wanted.”

“What about Tracy?” Charity asks, narrowing her eye. 

“She’s a big girl,” Vanessa says, and it’s not flippant, she knows that Vanessa means it because they’ve both seen her grow years in the last twelve months. “Besides, have you seen the way she and Ross have been eyeing each other up lately? I’d give it a month before we catch them snogging when he comes to pick Moses up.”

“What about you?” Charity asks Vanessa as the room drops to a hum around them, the bustle nothing but noise. “What do you want?”

Vanessa looks at her the way she does sometimes that makes Charity melt before she replies. “I just want to be with you,” Vanessa says simply. “That’s it. And I want you to be happy. I don’t care if we’re here, or in Switzerland, or the North-bloody-pole. As long as I have you and the boys, I don’t care.”

“Do you mean it?” Charity asks sitting up straight in her seat, appraising Vanessa carefully, but it’s not necessary because she already knows from the look in her eyes that Vanessa does. 

She turns her head in Charity’s hand anyway, kissing her palm quickly to prove it and Charity can’t help but pull her in close for a kiss, bugger anyone else who’s watching. She rests her forehead against Vanessa’s when they part, her whole body buzzing with the taste of her, with the scent of her perfume, of the way she touches Charity like she was never anything but herself and not something ruined by other people. 

She didn’t know what love was until she met Vanessa, she knows that now, and she hates herself for being so sentimental sometimes but occasionally Vanessa will look at her, or kiss her, and she can’t help herself. Vanessa makes everything else easier, she makes hating herself feel like a fading nightmare, she makes loneliness a distant ache. 

Vanessa nuzzles into her neck for a moment before she pulls away completely and Charity catches sight of Paddy and Rhona and Pete holding back to give them some space. They’ve never been friends, she and Rhona, have bugger-all in common aside from Vanessa but they’ve found a peace, the two of them, because they know their love for Vanessa isn’t a farce or a phase. Vanessa is special; Rhona knows this too, and Charity doesn’t know if she’ll forgive her for what she made Vanessa do or risk once upon a time, but she accepts it, she understands it too. She’d be a hypocrite not to after everything she’s done. 

Rhona catches her eye, smiling softly in that way that Charity sees her do from time to time when she knows that Vanessa is happy, dropping her head against Pete’s shoulder, and Charity can’t help but let a smile settle at the corner of her mouth in reply. She clears her throat before the mood has a chance to make her look completely pathetic, alerting Vanessa to the presence of the others behind her. 

The rest of the evening passes amicably; Charity manages to keep a handle on her self-control for the most part, even if she can’t stop her eyes wandering to the split up Vanessa’s thigh. She traces her fingertips along the warm skin beneath the table as Vanessa chats to a few old university mates, the conversation dead-boring, but the way Vanessa squirms underneath her hands anything but. 

Charity’s busy contemplating all the ways she could entice Vanessa upstairs to their room without her feeling like Charity was cheating her out of the rest of the evening when Vanessa drags her up and out of her seat for a dance. 

She’s a slightly hopeless dancer, Charity thinks with a smile as she takes Vanessa’s hand in hers, curling her hand around Vanessa’s lower back and pulling her close, but at least they’re swaying in a rough attempt at a lazy waltz that Charity can lead her in, and not something that looks like her showcase at the club months ago. 

“Do you know how to ballroom dance?” Vanessa asks her two or three songs in, lifting her cheek from Charity’s chest. 

“Oi,” Charity growls, the hand at Vanessa’s back pinching her side lightly, satisfied when Vanessa squirms in her arms. “Don’t sound so surprised.”

“I stopped being surprised at all the things you can do a long time ago, and you know it,” Vanessa replies, curling her hand around the back of Charity’s neck, pulling her in for a kiss that forces her frown to recede. “I’m just curious, that’s all. I don’t think we’ve ever danced like this before. Where did you learn?”

“One of the girls I worked with for a while…” Charity begins, pausing to give Vanessa a chance to stop her if she wants. 

She doesn’t though, she never does, she’s never once been embarrassed about Charity’s past, something that’s a miracle in and of itself. “One of them,” Charity continues, “you know where, her family were a bunch of toffs that disowned her and we used to have a laugh while we were waiting for the next bloke to come along. She’d teach us - me and the other couple of girls - a few basic steps. Didn’t half do a bad job of attracting them in actually, was a good bit of marketing, and it was fun. You’d forget for half a minute what you were waiting for when she twirled you around.”

She feels Vanessa’s hand tighten in her own and pull her closer, hold her firmer, kiss her cheek again and again and again, until the sound of cars tooting and lights passing and her breath pluming in the cold fade from her mind too and all that’s left is this slightly too hot ballroom and Vanessa. 

“I think you’re a wonderful dancer,” Vanessa whispers in her ear, because she knows that this is what Charity needs when the old memories come creeping. She doesn’t need pity; she needs Vanessa to treat her like a normal, undamaged person, like everyone else. 

“Think I’m good at this, babe,” Charity husks into Vanessa’s ear, feeling the skin of her neck break out in goosebumps beneath her lips. “You should see what else these old bones can do.” 

She’s surprised by the openness of Vanessa’s next kiss in a room full of strangers, taken aback by the depth but not for long. With only a moment's hesitation she pushes back against Vanessa’s tongue, winding her fingers in the hair at the base of Vanessa’s skull and pulling just hard enough to make her groan and open her mouth a little wider. 

Charity knows there will be people staring,  _ let them _ she thinks with a beat of pride. Let them see how Vanessa so happily claims her in spite of everything she’s done, in spite of what she’s been. It’s more redeeming than anything in the world, that, the way Vanessa so proudly walks through a room with Charity on her arm. It’s healing, as pathetic as that sounds. It’s fate-claiming. 

“One more song and then I’m all yours,” Vanessa says when they part, when Charity’s thigh has discreetly made its way between hers, when Vanessa’s breathing is rough and laboured. 

“One more song,” Charity repeats before running her tongue up the heated flesh of Vanessa’s neck, mostly obscured by the curtain of Vanessa’s hair. 

“Charity,” Vanessa moans, the rumble of it in her chest tangible against Charity’s. 

“I know, babe,” Charity says before she takes skin between her teeth. “One more song. We can stay longer, too.”

Sometimes it’s the best way to get what she wants; playing it cool, acting like she’s not ready to rip that split in Vanessa’s dress higher right here in front of two hundred people. Nothing gets Vanessa worked up quite like nonchalance, Charity has learned. 

“I don’t think we’ll be missed if we go now,” Vanessa says between a couple of quick kisses, her body as close flush to Charity’s as possible. 

“Are you sure, babe?” Charity asks smoothly, running her lips across the length of Vanessa’s neck now, barely touching the skin, brushing against the raised hair instead. “I don’t want to drag you away from-“

“Yes, you do,” Vanessa says flatly, the look in her eyes telling Charity that she’s been had. “That’s  _ exactly _ what you want…” Vanessa drawls, “but,” she pauses, “it’s what I want too.”

“Ness,” Charity replies, feeling just the smallest bit guilty for being so obvious. 

“Charity,” Vanessa says firmly, looking directly into her eyes. “For the love of god, just take me to bed.”

  
  


.


	2. Two.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Her smile is probably wide enough to be seen from bloody space but Charity doesn’t care, nor does she care that the entire ballroom probably knows exactly what they’re slipping off to do.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay team, here's chapter two. Thank you for all the lovely comments on chapter one by the way. I truly thought this story was absolute nonsense so that was super appreciated. Also, I am going to split this into three so be on the lookout for the final part soon. 
> 
> This is most definitely not safe for work so read it in public at your own risk.

.

Her smile is probably wide enough to be seen from bloody space but Charity doesn’t care, nor does she care that the entire ballroom probably knows exactly what they’re slipping off to do. Before Charity can say another word, Vanessa half drags her from the dancefloor across to Rhona and Pete, pressing a quick kiss to Rhona’s cheek in farewell before pulling Charity back through the main hotel. 

They make their way past the concierge and out towards their room, Vanessa leading her by the hand, through the halls of the main hotel, towards the set of cottages that make up the guest accommodation. 

It’s a good set up actually, Charity thinks, casting a brief look around before her gaze settles on the curve of Vanessa’s body beneath her dress as she walks a few steps ahead. There’s enough distance between units to preserve some privacy, although not nearly enough for what Charity has planned for the weekend, because they have two glorious nights alone, and she intends to make good use of them. Two glorious nights without kids to distract them. Two glorious nights without earlier-than-god mornings. Two glorious nights without the call-outs that Charity had happily gone without during Vanessa’s suspension. Two glorious nights to have Vanessa completely, wholly to herself. 

It’s picturesque, the little cottage, Charity thinks as she steps closer to Vanessa’s back while she wrestles the key into the lock, sweeping the hair off Vanessa’s shoulder so she can press a messy kiss to her neck. 

“If you keep doing that I’m never going to find my head enough to open the bloody door,” Vanessa mumbles, faltering when Charity drags her teeth along the line of her shoulder. 

“Too bad,” Charity says with a melodramatic sigh. She runs her hands up and down Vanessa’s sides, around the curve of her hips. “Guess I’ll just have to have you here then, won’t I?”

The lock gives way with a  _ click _ just as Charity’s hands find the split in her dress and pull the fabric up to give her enough room to snake her hand between Vanessa’s thighs. Vanessa gasps in relief when she makes contact with bare skin, the sound simultaneous with their stumbled entrance into the room. 

Their bags are waiting for them at the door of the bed but Charity isn’t interested in walking Vanessa there just yet, she slides her hands up to Vanessa’s hips instead, turning them both and pushing Vanessa up against the door with a reasonably solid  _ thud _ . 

“Christ, I’ve wanted to do this all bloody night,” Charity says, tipping Vanessa’s head to the side with her hand and ravishing her neck, dropping kisses lower and lower down, following the line of exposed skin that runs between her breasts. 

“Do you think it’s been any easier for me?” Vanessa asks, her touch dancing across Charity’s bare shoulders, her nails leaving light red lines in their wake. “I want to jump your bones at the best of times, but good god, with you looking like this? I’ve almost been beside myself.”

“Coulda pulled me aside for a quickie at any stage, you know that, babe,” Charity growls, running her hand over the skin of Vanessa’s thigh, bending down slightly to hitch the dress higher up over Vanessa’s hips so she can push her thigh between Vanessa’s.

“A dirt snog in the toilets seemed like sacrilege with you in that dress,” Vanessa replies shakily, pushing against the firm leg that Charity slides between her own. 

“That’s why it’s fun, Ness,” Charity says with a wicked smile, the mental picture of Vanessa pulling her by the hand into the loo playing out in her head. “Although I quite understand the urge to do this proper, don’t I? Peeling you out of that dress and having you with some room to move? Much more satisfying.”

“Speaking of which,” Vanessa groans, an urgency clear in the way she pushes against Charity’s body, in the way she tries to prompt Charity to move things along. 

“Oh, don’t think you’re gettin’ it that easy, babe,” Charity laughs, her hand moving between them, gently running over the inside of Vanessa’s thigh. “Not after I’ve had to keep my hands to myself all night.”

“That was keeping your hands to yourself?” Vanessa asks with a raised brow. 

“Didn’t grope you in front of the crowd, did I?” Charity replies, trying not to bristle, resisting the urge to kiss Vanessa’s shoulder with more teeth than before. “Let me tell you, it were bloody hard not to when you’re the best-looking bird in the room.”

Vanessa smiles almost self-consciously at the compliment. “You think so?” she asks, distracted for a moment.

“I mean, it’s not like you had any stiff competition but - ouch,  _ oi  _ you,” Charity begins, catching Vanessa’s hand deftly before she can pinch her in the side again. “I was going to say,  _ but you’re the best-looking thing in any room, _ if you’d give me a second to finish.”

“Didn’t want to take the chance,” Vanessa replies smartly, kissing the hand holding her own until Charity releases it. “Never know what I’m going to get with you, do I?”

Charity laughs, the sound a bark that echoes through the room. “I think you probably do actually,” she tells Vanessa. 

“Yes, well, you are terribly predictable sometimes,” Vanessa says smoothly as her hands trace a path all over Charity’s back, from her shoulders down to the curve of her backside and up again in a way that makes her close her eyes and arch into Vanessa’s touch. 

“Pray, tell, babe,” Charity replies slowly, her eyes gleaming, predator like; her skin glowing with all the things she could do in that moment to show Vanessa just how unpredictable she can be.

“Well I generally know when you’ve got that glint in your eye that you’ll be on me the second we’re alone together,” Vanessa says dreamily, moving her hands up Charity’s neck to cup her jaw. “And you curl my hair around your finger when you’re trying to stop yourself from touching me somewhere else less appropriate if we’re in front of other people.”

“Think you know me then do you, Vanessa Woodfield?” Charity purrs, taking Vanessa’s hands in her own again, moving them back to drape over her shoulders. 

_ She does _ , Charity thinks with a thrill that settles low in her belly. Vanessa knows her better than anyone on the face of this god-forsaken planet does, better than she knows herself, Charity would wager too. Because she’s bothered to try. 

The sad truth of it is that it’s not just been Vanessa that she’s tried to give herself too; Charity has been open to affection, to her lovers her whole life, but no one's ever bothered to look  _ into _ her, to the things she was so willingly offering. No one’s bothered to take everything she was showing them with open hands; they only ever pick and chose, they only ever took the things they wanted, not the things she that she wanted them to have. 

She’s never been seen as an equal before, she’s never been seen as  _ good _ by the people sharing her bed, she’s never been seen on an even playing field by her partners, not until Vanessa. 

“Yes, Charity Dingle,” Vanessa says, in a way that Charity can imagine Vanessa saying to her if she ever summons up the courage to put her heart on the line one last time and ask Vanessa to spend the rest of her life with her. “I do.”

Vanessa slides her calf up and around the outside of Charity’s thigh, looking at Charity like she does when she wants Charity to be rough and wild and reckless, pulling Charity closer to her, their hips bumping together in a way that strikes a flint between their bodies, and in an instant Charity feels a furnace engulf the both of them. She crashes their lips together hard enough for Vanessa to emit a muffled squeak, but it’s not in protest, it’s an accelerant, only urging Charity on. She slides her hands down around the curve of Vanessa’s hips, just low enough to slip beneath the fabric on the side with the split, and then up again to catch the edge of the barely-there underwear Vanessa has on. 

Their voices, their moans, mix together in the warmth of the room, the sounds Vanessa’s making licking at Charity’s skin like the flames in the fire crackling away in the corner. She manages to work Vanessa’s underwear to her knees until they’re loose enough to slide down the rest of her legs so she can dip her hand between Vanessa’s thighs, finally,  _ finally _ . 

“My, my, Ness, what have you been thinking about then, to make you this wet?” Charity asks Vanessa smugly, breathing the words against her lips. She’s not being particularly finessed with her touch, pressing just enough to savour the sensation between Vanessa’s legs, for her, because of her, teasing, making Vanessa groan in frustration. 

“You, Charity,” Vanessa sighs, exasperated, pulling Charity to her for another kiss; messier this time, far more desperate. “It’s always you.”

“I know,” Charity coos into her ear, running her tongue around the curve as her fingers slip lower, teasing the source of warmth. “Just like hearing you say it, don’t I?”

Something in her words or tone or stature make Vanessa snap and Charity feels a decision to move ripple through her body where she’s touching it. She pushes Charity back and away from her, wrapping her hands around Charity’s biceps, reversing their position, Charity’s back making contact with the door as she keeps stroking firmly between Vanessa’s thighs. 

“You’re that much of a flamin’ tease, it’s about time you got a taste of your own medicine,” Vanessa says with a fabricated calm, trying to extract Charity’s hand from between them. 

“It is cute when you think you can take charge, babe,” Charity says with a wink before she moves, in a second pinning Vanessa against the door again, tighter this time, her whole body leaning weight to keep Vanessa still. “About twice as strong as you, remember?” 

She teases her lips against Vanessa’s as she flushes hot, pulling back quickly when Vanessa leans in for a kiss, smiling when she makes that little sound of desperation that Charity has fallen in love with again and again and again. 

She’s not shy of asking for what she wants, Vanessa, it’s one of the things Charity likes so much about taking her to bed because she’s always had a voracious appetite when it comes to sex and she’s found a surprising match in Vanessa, in every way possible. Vanessa challenges her, she pushes her, she excites her, and that’s something that hasn’t happened to Charity in a very, very long time.

“Can’t be in charge forever though, can you?” Vanessa smirks, and then does something that surprises Charity, sliding her own hand between their bodies, pushing Charity’s aside so she can touch herself. 

They’re still pressed hard up against one another and for a moment Charity’s too busy being completely distracted to actually do anything, but the sound Vanessa makes when she starts moving, and the way Charity can feel how quickly Vanessa’s hand is stroking, prompts her into action. It’s not the first time that Vanessa has touched herself in front of Charity,  _ for  _ Charity, and god-willing it won’t be the last either, but it’s not something Charity’s going to waste not watching every last inch of, not simply feeling, so she curls her hands around Vanessa’s hips just as a loud sigh slips past her lips and walks Vanessa backwards towards the bed. 

“If you’re going to be doing that, I want to see, babe,” Charity explains, pushing Vanessa’s shoulder with a light touch, sending her falling backwards into the plump covers of the bed. 

“Thought you might,” Vanessa says with a grin as she shuffles up the bed slightly, towards the headboard, never once ceasing the quick and furied movement of her hand, and Charity understands in a second that she’s been played. 

“Look at you then, running against me in my own bloody game,” Charity purrs, genuinely impressed. She takes a moment to just  _ look _ , raising an eyebrow in admiration before hitching her own dress up so that she can climb on top of Vanessa, sitting on her haunches over Vanessa’s thighs to watch the way her hand moves between them. 

It’s one of the most mouthwatering things Charity has ever seen; her view is obscured by Vanessa’s dress but she can catch the occasional glimpse of Vanessa’s fingers when she pulls back too far, can see how wet and glistening her fingers are. Vanessa’s good at playing, good at engaging with this chaotically smooth dance they can run through with their eyes closed - teasing her within an inch of her life - Charity knows she is, will willingly recognise it too, but try and try and try as Vanessa might to overtake her, Charity is still better. 

“Shame you forgot that you can’t beat me at it,” Charity offers with a hint of wickedness, taking Vanessa’s hand from between her legs. She has plans to pin it above Vanessa’s head but there's something she wants to do first, raising it to her mouth so she can lick Vanessa’s fingers clean. 

It’s filthy, and low-handed to boot, she knows it is, but Vanessa makes a sound like a desperate animal when she does, when she closes her lips around them, and it makes it so, unbelievably worth it. Once she’s done swirling her tongue around Vanessa’s fingers, sucking every bit of salty sweetness from them she drags them from her mouth, using the edge of her teeth in a way that makes Vanessa worry her own bottom lip as she watches. Sometimes it’s better than anything else, watching the way Vanessa looks at her, because it’s so unlike the way anyone else ever has before. 

She’s one in a bloody million, this Vanessa Woodfield, Charity knows she is now, and she doesn’t plan on letting her go. There are a number of tools in her arsenal that Charity has always used to ensnare the men she thought would keep her safe, and she has all of those ready to use if she needs to, but the irony of it all is that Vanessa doesn’t need any of it to want to stay. She just needs Charity to share - not give - herself, which only makes Charity want to give her everything a thousand times over. 

Vanessa watches every inch of her movement like Charity’s holding the key to life itself as she threads her fingers between Vanessa’s, raising the hand above Vanessa’s head before collecting the other from Vanessa’s side and mirroring the action. 

“You can have them back in a minute,” Charity says sweetly in the voice that always makes Vanessa instantly suspicious, flexing the muscles in her arms as she finds a comfortable spot over Vanessa’s hips. “If you’re very good.”

“What if I don’t want to be good?” Vanessa asks, rolling her body up against Charity’s. The movement itself doesn’t do a lot in the way of friction, but knowing that Vanessa now has nothing separating herself from the expensive fabric of her dress drives Charity half-mad. 

“Even better,” Charity replies smoothly, nodding her approval before she descends on Vanessa’s neck. “But you’re still not getting them back just yet.”

Her pale skin goes the prettiest colours when Charity uses her teeth, when she leaves flowers of purple and red in her wake that make Charity want to run her fingers over then in delight until Vanessa tires of her and pushes her away. She lays down low against Vanessa’s body as she works her teeth along the expanse from Vanessa’s throat as far as she can go before the lace of the top of Vanessa’s dress hampers her. 

“Bloody fabric,” Charity growls, moving to hold Vanessa’s hands in just one of her own, trying to pull it aside a fraction more so she can get at the unblemished skin currently obscured by it, a few seconds from tearing the fine lace and being done with it. 

“Take it off then,” Vanessa moans, straining hard against Charity’s weakened hold on her hands. “Just take the damn thing off.”

“Best idea you’ve had all evening, babe,” Charity breathes, sitting back up and loosening her grip. She doesn’t let go completely though, she pulls Vanessa’s back up from the bed too, shuffling back and sliding off the bed completely herself, stepping back lightly onto the balls of her feet before holding her hand out to a slightly perplexed Vanessa.

“Up, Ness,” Charity says trying to keep her impatience to a minimum, reaching forward and taking hold of Vanessa’s hand, pulling Vanessa off the bed to stand in front of her. “I want to take this off properly.”

“Look at you being careful,” Vanessa says with a self-righteous smirk when her wits come back to her and she watches Charity’s hands move to her waist, pulling her close before they run up her back. She feels Charity’s hands search for the fastening before she whispers silkily into Charity’s ear. “Charity, the zip’s at the back.”

“I know where the zip is,” Charity growls into Vanessa’s ear, her fingers finding the small tongue of cool metal before they slide it down Vanessa’s spine, more than a little pleased when a shiver moves through her. 

She pulls the fabric apart gently between Vanessa’s shoulder blades until she can shrug out of the top part and Charity can slide it down her arms. The action exposes her breasts and Charity wraps her fingers around Vanessa’s upper arms to stop her from obscuring the view of her naked chest. She looks at Vanessa when the dress pools at her waist to see her light eyes almost black and she leans in close, brushing her cheek against Vanessa's before whispering into her ear. 

“I don’t care about the dress, babe,” Charity says smoother than the fabric beneath her hands, sinking to her knees, taking the dress with her, kissing down the inside of Vanessa’s thighs as she moves. “I don’t give a flying fancy how much it cost. It’s just more fun to pull it off you this way, innit?”

She watches Vanessa gulp visibly as she steps out of the fabric at her feet before Charity can discard it off to the side and make her way back up Vanessa’s thighs. Her hands move carefully preceding her lips, over small knotted scars scattered across each leg, dragging kisses from her knees up her inner thighs, over faint silver lines that she takes extra care of. 

Vanessa’s growing self-conscious above her, Charity can feel it, so she slides one of her hands up higher and higher until it disappears between Vanessa’s legs again and she feels the tension in Vanessa change tact completely. She hadn’t planned on this but it seems a waste to be so close and  _ not _ , so she gives Vanessa something to distract her from the shyness, something to drive every thought and insecurity out of her mind. 

She spreads Vanessa just wide enough to taste, savouring the way the muscles in Vanessa’s thighs tense as her breath washes over the heat waiting for her, just before her hands wrap around the backs of Vanessa’s thighs and her tongue and lips make contact. 

“Oh  _ god _ , Charity,” Vanessa sighs heavily above her, fisting her hands in Charity’s hair as Charity moves forward eagerly, her tongue swirling, her fingers gripping the pliant flesh beneath them as Vanessa’s body bucks and falters. “I don’t think I can…”

Charity snakes one hand up, splaying over Vanessa’s belly, and she pushes firmly, knowing the mattress is close enough to touch Vanessa’s calves as she stands.

Vanessa tumbles backwards again with a sharp gasp. “Do that to me again,” she huffs, red-faced for more reason than one, leaving up on her elbow to glare at Charity. “And I’ll-“

“You’ll what, babe?” Charity asks, looking from Vanessa’s lap with a broad grin on her face before she hooks a leg over her shoulder, and then the other, sliding her hands under Vanessa’s backside, shuffling herself forward. “Tell me to stop?”

She doesn’t do anything but glare because they both know she can’t say no to Charity even when she comes in from the cold with hands and feet like ice blocks, let alone when she’s as far gone as this.

“Didn’t think so,” Charity says with a supreme smugness. A second of blissful victory clouds her vision before Vanessa closes her hand into the hair at the nape of her neck and pulls firmly, making Charity yelp in response. 

“I’m not defenceless,” Vanessa tells her around a smirk, her nails scratching softly across her scalp now. “You’d do best to remember that.”

“How could I forget, babe?” Charity answers by biting the tender flesh of Vanessa’s inner thigh hard enough to make her draw in a sharp breath. “You’re an animal, you. But so am I.”

It’s true, Charity thinks as she kisses the bite mark, running her tongue up a line before she can kiss the curve where Vanessa’s thigh turns into her hip; she can drop her human skin with Vanessa and step forth a lion in a way she’s never been able to before without fear of the other person on top or beneath her wincing when she roars. She can because Vanessa has claws like hers too, Charity has worn the evidence of them for days on end when Vanessa has it in her to be extra rough. Vanessa has a voice like hers as well, loud and strong and unwavering in all things, but especially in her love. She’s often wondered whether that’s why this is so different, their intimacy so much stronger, because there’s been a little something like love since the start. 

Vanessa, for her part, is trembling by the time Charity finally tastes her. She slides an arm across Vanessa’s hips to hold her still but that only makes Vanessa strain more so she pushes down harder, exercising the strength she knows she has but barely uses nowadays outside of the pub, until Vanessa’s back is flat on the bed beneath them. 

She’s warm beneath Charity’s tongue, slightly salty and desperate. She’s always enjoyed the difference that comes with sleeping with women; their eagerness not laced with expectation, the way their hands fist in her hair softer, even when they pull hard. As she continues, the groan that Vanessa emits is low and loud,  _ so _ loud. She turns her head to the side to take the covers between her teeth in an attempt to stem some of the noise. 

“Uh, uh,” Charity says quickly, stopping everything without warning, lifting her head and licking her lips as she looks up to Vanessa, a heavy blush over her shoulders and up her neck. She can feel Vanessa tense around her fingers, trying to urge her on, but she’s not having a bar of it until she gets what she wants, too. 

“I want to hear you, babe,” Charity says, dropping her mouth, pressing a messy kiss to the heat below her that makes Vanessa’s whole body jump. “I want the neighbours to hear you, if it comes to that.”

“Think rather a lot of your own aptitude, don’t you?” Vanessa stutters, her voice hoarse from the evening spent talking, and Charity’s attention. She swallows thickly, her eyes glued to Charity’s. 

“Yeah, Ness,” Charity nods, smiling, sliding inside her again, holding the eye contact until Vanessa’s gaze falters, her lids fluttering as she claims Charity’s fingers completely. “I do.”

Charity pushes, pulls back slowly, matching the pace to Vanessa’s moan, whispering  _ good girl _ to Vanessa’s inner thigh. She curls her fingers before she thrusts in and drops her mouth to the warmth again. “But if you don’t,” Charity says, stopping again because she can, suppressing the bubbling laugh in her throat at the loud sigh of exasperation from Vanessa above her. “If you don’t think I’m any good, then we’ve got a problem on our hands, don’t we? Because you’ve been fakin’ it a  _ lot _ since we met if that’s the case.”

She runs her fingers along the width of Vanessa’s stomach with her free hand, torturously light over the downy soft hair there, watching with glee as Vanessa squirms under her touch. She’s gorgeous like this, ready to jump down Charity’s throat and barely restrained; she’s flawless, and Charity can’t ever get enough. 

“How can I fake - oh  _ god _ , Charity - this?” Vanessa asks desperately, curving her back against the bed when Charity rewards the sound of her pleasure, pushing her hair out of her face with both hands, the perfect picture of blissful desperation. “How on earth can I fake this?”

“Can’t, can you babe?” Charity says smugly. “You’re a terrible liar.” It’s more than that though, if she’s honest; it’s a deep relief that she knows in her bones that everything Vanessa tells her is the truth. 

“Am not,” Vanessa says defiantly, running her fingers into her hairline, straining against Charity’s grounding grip on her waist, her heel digging into Charity’s back between her shoulder blades. 

“Yeah, you are,” Charity replies, her voice almost lazy, such is the confidence in her words. “And it’s one of the things I love most about you.”

“It is?” Vanessa asks her with sudden clarity, like she can see through the haze hanging heavily over her for a moment, locking eyes with Charity as Charity leans her cheek against the soft skin of Vanessa’s leg. 

“It is, babe,” Charity answers her with an almost shy smile. It’s not always been so smooth, telling Vanessa how she feels, speaking about her emotions so openly, but it’s easier, it’s more natural with Vanessa than it’s ever been before. She doesn’t fear reprisal for telling Vanessa that she loves her, she doesn’t fear being locked away so that no one else can touch her, or laughed at for feeling at all. “What do you love the most about me, then?”

“Your hands,” Vanessa says with a quick, gasped laugh, looking down her body to where Charity’s fingers dance against her. 

“That’s a bit obvious, isn’t it, babe?” Charity says, rolling her eyes, toying with the idea of taking them away altogether, until Vanessa can give her more. “How about something more meaningfu-”

“I love what they feel like in mine when you wake up in the middle of a night after a bad dream,” Vanessa says, interrupting her smoothly, looking up to Charity again and pushing a stray piece of hair behind her ear as she does so. “I love how they feel when you play with my hair when I’m pretending to be asleep on the couch so you do. I love how you use them to talk, to tell me things like when you’re angry, or frustrated, or sad, or you want me, when you can’t quite say them aloud.”

“Better,” Charity replies with a grin, letting her breath wash over Vanessa again. “Anything else?”

“I love that you try,” Vanessa answers easily, as though she has a thousand sentiments waiting on the tip of her tongue, ready to release them the moment Charity’s ready to hear them. “When you want to, that is,” she adds. “I love that you’ve made such an effort with everything since the start, I love that you let me in even though everything in your head, in your past, tells you to do the opposite. I love that you’re mine, in a way you’ve never been anyone else’s, because I’m yours in the same way too.”

Vanessa’s exceptional at sentimentality, at bringing Charity to her knees with a few short sentences and she swallows thickly as she tries to blink the tears from her eyes.  _ Must be the champagne _ , she thinks trying to clear her head, making her feel so damn sappy. Or the posh little country chateau. Or Vanessa’s dress and  _ all _ that naked skin.

“How’s that for meaningful?” Vanessa asks when Charity doesn’t answer her right away, running her fingers through Charity’s hair as far down as she can reach. “Enough? Or shall I keep going?” 

“You’ll do,” Charity says plainly, her voice a little rough, but she knows when she looks at Vanessa that Vanessa understands she’s saying thank you, even if her lips don’t form the words. 

“I think you owe me one, now,” Vanessa says in that slightly cocky tone that Charity adores, rolling her hips up, pushing against Charity’s hold.

Charity can’t help releasing the tension in her arm for a moment, running both hands up Vanessa’s sides, dragging her nails down the warm skin of her belly. She doesn’t wait for Vanessa to say another word, she doesn’t bother to offer an explanation, she just smoothes her palms over the planes of Vanessa’s stomach, drops her mouth, and begins anew. 

They’re fairly ravenous for each other on a bad day, let alone a good one, which amongst a number of other benefits also means that Charity knows how to make Vanessa see stars, hard and quick, and after an admission like that, Charity thinks she only deserves as much. Because actually, beyond almost everything else, Charity wants to make Vanessa  _ happy _ , she wants to make her content enough to stay with her and all her baggage and burdens. She wants Vanessa to  _ want _ to be here.  Sex has always been a tool for her; a means to an end, a weapon more times than not, but it’s never, ever been that with Vanessa. It’s a prize with her, something they share, something Charity gets to relax into rather than holding her guard up through.

She pushes Vanessa hard this time once she winds her arm back across her hips. She doesn’t start slow, she doesn’t walk her gently into it, she starts thrusting, fast and almost punishing. Vanessa vocalises in response; loud enough for the people in the cabin next door to hear just how much she wants it. 

It’s harder to hold Vanessa still the more she pushes her on and Charity’s arm starts to ache with the strain of it. The pain is sharp and insistent but she dismisses it with a growl. Charity can go for hours if it means seeing the blush grow darker over Vanessa’s skin, if it means she gets to hear the desperate way Vanessa starts to sigh with each clawed breath as her desire swells again and again. 

“Are you holding out on me, babe?” Charity asks, her voice pure seduction even to her own ears, breaking away to draw in a fast gasp of her own as Vanessa starts to flutter around her fingers, the tension like velvet.

“No, god, I’m  _ so _ close,” Vanessa groans, the pitch of her voice high as she drapes her other calf over Charity’s shoulder, releasing both of her hands from bunching in the fabric of the bed covers to thread them into Charity’s hair.

She’s lost count of the number of people who have come at her hands, but Vanessa is the most poetic by far. She says Charity’s name like a prayer when she does, holding Charity tight to her, not because she wants the release to last longer but because she wants Charity  _ closer _ . It’s intimate like this, with Vanessa in her mouth and around her fingers, more so with both and not just one because Charity can feel every inch of her move and quiver and shudder and she savours it all. She drinks it in as Vanessa says, breathes,  _ sighs _ her name again and again and again, leading her through, fingers and tongue curling until Vanessa collapses in a heap beneath her arm, still, finally, before Charity does the same.

“If that’s what happens when we wear posh frocks, I think we might have to get dressed up more often,” Charity laughs, withdrawing her hand. She drops a kiss on the inside of Vanessa’s thigh one last time with wet lips before she starts to crawl up the bed, the urge to be nearer to Vanessa drawing her there.

“You’ve still got yours on,” Vanessa says with the soft, sleepy glimmer of pleasure lingering in her eyes, holding her arms out weakly for Charity to fall into them.

She nestles into Vanessa’s side, sliding her arm over Vanessa’s breast. Her lips find the curve of Vanessa’s neck, kissing her way to the corner of her mouth. “Hardly seems fair, does it?” Charity hums casually, looking up to catch Vanessa’s eye. “Maybe you should take it off, then?”

.


	3. Three.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Course not, Ness,” Charity says quietly, honestly, meaningfully. “You’re bloody it, aren’t you?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy holidays, team. Can't even apologise enough for how long this has taken, real life is hard at the moment and sharing writing has just gone right out the window with any spare time. I hope like hell someone's still reading this to make actually editing this last part worth it, and that if anyone is still around, that you enjoy it. 
> 
> Thanks heaps if you are still here, waiting for my very slow ass to post more fic. I officially dedicate this to you, loyal readers, if you're out there. 
> 
> x

_ . _

_ “You’ve still got yours on,” Vanessa says with the soft, sleepy glimmer of pleasure lingering in her eyes, holding her arms out weakly for Charity to fall into them. _

_ She nestles into Vanessa’s side, sliding her arm over Vanessa’s breast. Her lips find the curve of Vanessa’s neck, kissing her way to the corner of her mouth. “Hardly seems fair, does it?” Charity hums casually, looking up to catch Vanessa’s eye. “Maybe you should take it off, then?” _

_ . _

“Should I just?” Vanessa replies smoothly, her voice a low drawl, her fingers tapping a light pattern on Charity’s shoulder. 

“Absolutely,” Charity nods, closing her eyes and leaning in. 

Vanessa kisses her slowly, her tongue brushing Charity’s lower lip before she gives in, her hands shifting to Charity’s waist. Understanding it for the hint it is, she straddles Vanessa’s hips again, Vanessa sitting up with her this time. Her arms slide around Charity’s torso to the zip at her back, pulling it down, fingers moving over the rise and fall of Charity’s spine while her teeth find the curve of Charity’s shoulder. Her bite rests firm and heavy against the muscle as Charity groans beneath it, her hands moving at the same time, slipping beneath the fabric of Charity’s dress on either side of her waist, her nails dragging as heavily as her teeth.

The sensation feels fit to part Charity down the line of her back, from the top of her back to the ticklish skin at her ribs, and like a reflex, she arches sharply, pushing her breasts against Vanessa’s. Hissing against the rich, pleasurable pain, Charity grinds her teeth, ignoring the smug smile she can feel against her neck. 

“Christ, Ness,” she groans as the pads of Vanessa’s fingers trace the stinging lines on her back. “This is a do for vets, yeah? Not for animals.”

“Do you want me to be gentler?” Vanessa asks, tilting her head to the side. She watches Charity with a soft expression on her face, the corner of her mouth turning in a smile as though she can anticipate exactly what Charity’s going to say. 

“Never,” Charity breathes in reply, shaking her head. 

Vanessa’s smile widens before her hands move up the middle of Charity’s back, palms flat, spreading her fingers through Charity’s hair when they reach it. Her hands move back down to Charity’s hips and then she rolls them, pressing Charity into the bed, sliding off her body to work the open dress down Charity’s body, her eyes widening when she catches the sight of her new lingerie. 

“Is that-“ Vanessa asks a little dumbly, her hand moving over Charity’s stomach, running her touch along the lines of lace. 

“New?” Charity half-answers, snatching Vanessa’s hand and pressing it to her chest firmly in some loose attempt to abate the screaming beneath her skin, squeezing her hand over Vanessa’s to palm her breast roughly. “For you?”

She loves moments like this, where she genuinely surprises Vanessa enough to render her almost speechless. She wraps the fingers of her other hand around Vanessa’s elbow, tugging her down to her lips. “It’s all for you, babe,” Charity offers as Vanessa’s breath mixes with her own. 

“Is that right?” Vanessa asks, eyebrow raised, holding her lips just off of Charity’s as the hand on her breast starts moving down. 

Charity holds her breath, the anticipation driving her heartbeat up before Vanessa’s hand skirts around to her back, popping the clasp of her strapless bra open. “You’re far too good at that for someone who pretended to be straight for forty years,” Charity observes, watching as Vanessa leans back, holding the bra between them before she drops it off the side of the bed. 

“Guess I’ve had a lot of practice in the last one, haven’t I?” Vanessa replies playfully, smoothing her palms over Charity’s now bare breasts as the skin pebbles beneath her touch. She pauses for a moment when she trails her forefinger down to the line of Charity’s underwear at her hips. “Is this really all for me?”

“Who else would it be for, babe?” Charity asks, the exhale jostling her body and Vanessa’s hand so that her fingers slip just beneath the lace. 

“I dunno, you?” Vanessa shrugs, a hint of genuine befuddlement in her eyes then that makes Charity feel slightly guilty even if she’s not totally sure why. “S’nice to get all tarted up sometimes, isn’t it? Might just be all part of the outfit.” 

“Did you just call me a tart?” Charity asks quickly, dragging fake shock across her features until Vanessa rolls her eyes and she smiles. “You really are daft on occasion, you are. Course it’s for you, Ness. Got to make sure I keep you interested, don’t I?”

“Do you really think you have to do that?” Vanessa questions, her eyes studying the lines of Charity’s face. “That I need something else beyond you just being you?”

Charity sighs heavily. “When I’m _ me _ ? Yeah, I do, babe.” She hadn’t planned for this evening to descend into actual meaningful conversation, that had been the last thing on her mind, but here they are. She can’t help it sometimes, opening up her heart deeper than she means to with Vanessa. It’s a proximity-based risk sometimes, just being close to her; she draws more out of Charity than anyone’s ever been able to, she _ listens _, and it makes Charity want to tell her everything. “I know I’m not the easiest person to be with,” Charity adds after a moment. “I know that I’m a prat a lot of the time. I just want to make sure your eye stays on me and not somewhere greener. Because I wouldn’t blame you, yeah, I know you could have someone nicer, with a simpler family history, with less of a rough past, but I’d quite like for you to stay right here.”

“Do you really think someone else would come along and turn my head more than you do?” Vanessa asks her softly, moving her hand up, pressing firmly down over Charity’s heart. “Charity, I’ve never looked at anything in my entire life the way I look at you. There is nothing, _ nothing _ that would-”

“You don’t know that,” Charity says sadly, shaking her head and refusing to look Vanessa in the eye even as she squeezes Vanessa’s hand beneath her own, clinging to the contact. “You don’t know that, babe. You don’t. You won’t until it happens.”

“Are you gonna have _ your _head turned then?” Vanessa asks her, and there’s a flash of something that looks distantly like pain in her eyes that makes Charity’s own heart clench. 

“Course not, Ness,” Charity says quietly, honestly, meaningfully, frowning at the idea of having to share herself with anyone that isn’t Vanessa, ever again. “You’re bloody it, aren’t you? Forever. A forever kind of _ it _.”

Vanessa nods, seeming to accept her at her word, relief painting her cheeks a light pink. “Good,” she says simply, raising their hands to her lips, kissing each of Charity’s knuckles in turn. “Well you’re bloody it for me too, aren’t you? Regardless of the lacy underwear, and the fancy dresses. I’d ‘ave you in that horrid pink dressing gown at the back of your wardrobe if you so much as look in my direction, you know that. It’s you, the bit that I love, not the other stuff.” She smiles, blushing again, looking over Charity. “Although that is nice every now and then, don’t get me wrong. But I don’t need it. I just need you. Maybe the occasional backrub, but nothing else, yeah?” 

“Are you sure?” Charity asks her, feeling ridiculous; like the insecure teenager that she was never able to be. Because she needs Vanessa, maybe not to survive - because she’s done that on her own for her whole life now - but to _ live _ \- yes, she needs Vanessa for that. 

“Have I ever given you any reason not to be?” Vanessa says to her ardently, taking Charity’s hand in both of hers for a moment, in a way that makes her feel safe, not trapped. “Even for a second? Because if I have-“

“No, of course you haven’t,” Charity interrupts softly, running her hand down Vanessa's arm in assurance. “It’s just… I’m not convinced you’re not still too good to be true, alright? Because there aren’t people like you in the world, Vanessa. Not ones who don’t turn their noses up at what I had to do to stay alive. Not ones who…look, you’re just special, alright. I know that. And I’m not.”

“You _ are _, though,” Vanessa says as her eyes sparkle in a way that Charity would sneer at if it were anyone else but her speaking. “You’re so bloody special it makes me want to scream sometimes, that no one's ever told you that before.”

Vanessa’s rage for her, backing her _ always _ like a shield is something that Charity will never take for granted, ever. It’s fiercely hot and white, and it purifies, it burns away the damage others have done to her, the damage she’s done to herself.

“You do though, don’t you?” Charity asks her, surging up and kissing Vanessa firmly, turning the touch of her lips deeper when she teases her tongue against Vanessa’s. “You tell me, babe. And that’s all I’ve ever needed.”

“I love you, you daft fool,” Vanessa tells her when she breaks the kiss, leaning her forehead against Charity’s. “Who else is gonna turn my head like you did, eh? You haven’t stopped snogging me long enough for anyone else to get a look in, besides.”

With that, Charity feels relief settle over them both; content in their assurance of one another. It gives her the mental space to look at Vanessa again, properly, allows her eyes to move over Vanessa’s body like she’s the final meal of the evening. “Oh,” Charity says playfully, almost innocently. “Should I stop then?”

“I don’t know,” Vanessa shrugs, in a way that completely contrasts the movement of her hand down Charity’s belly. “Should I stop this?”

“Don’t you _ dare _,” Charity growls in a low voice, following the way Vanessa tosses the hair in her eyes over her shoulder with a shake of her head. 

“Why’s that, now?” Vanessa asks her, kissing Charity’s jaw before she moves to the length of Charity’s throat and her hand slips down the lace barely covering her. “Not like you _ need _ it or anything, is it?”

Vanessa touches her and her fingers _ glide _ through the warmth. she makes a noise like a groan against Charity’s neck at feeling her like that, _ so _ ready, which does absolutely nothing to quell her desire. 

“Before you say a word, you try doing what I’ve just done and not getting this worked up, alright?” Charity grumbles as Vanessa looks down at her with an exceedingly smug look on her face. 

“Wasn’t going to say a thing,” Vanessa purrs, biting her lip as she starts to move against Charity slowly; too slowly.

“Like hell you weren’t,” Charity replies, thrusting her hips impatiently against Vanessa’s hand.

“You’re right,” Vanessa says with a glint in her eye, the one that Charity _ loves _, brushing her thumb over Charity’s clit, her fingers sliding lower when Charity’s hips jerk. “I definitely wasn’t going to say how difficult it must have been, getting me off while you were so desperate to be touched in return.”

“Vanessa,” Charity says warningly, her hands moving from Vanessa’s back, her fingers threading tightly in her hair instead. 

“Bit close to home, is it?” Vanessa asks, and Charity’s a second away from closing her hands and giving Vanessa something else to burble on about when she finally slides her fingers lower.

“Jesus _ Christ _, Ness,” Charity gasps, her whole body tensing tight and relaxing in the same breath as Vanessa starts to move slowly inside her, without a hint of friction. 

“Good?” Vanessa asks her, her lips flush against Charity’s but not quite kissing her.

Charity can see a frown between her brow that smoothes when Charity melds their lips together. “_ Terrible _ , babe,” Charity growls as her whole body starts to roll in time with the thrusts of Vanessa’s hand, tipping her head back and arching into them. “Absolutely _ terrible _.”

Vanessa traces her mouth down the line of Charity’s neck along the straining tendons until she reaches her breasts, dragging the points of her teeth over the swell of them in a way that drives Charity mad. She’s always needed an element of harshness in sex; it lets her know she’s alive like nothing else does, it gives her something to _ feel _, and in the beginning of this thing between them she hadn’t ever thought innocent little Vanessa Woodfield would ever understand that, but she does, better than anyone else ever has. 

All the partners Charity’s ever had in the past had inflicted damage without thinking, so seamlessly that she’s not sure they’d even known what they were doing - but Vanessa is careful with every inch of her, and when she makes her kisses harder or tears lines down Charity’s back, she knows what she’s doing, and she knows _ why _ Charity needs it too. 

Vanessa’s tongue winds around and over her nipple as one of her hands drags the underwear she hasn’t been stripped of yet down Charity’s legs until she can kick them off and give Vanessa more room to move. The lack of a barrier gone, Vanessa can make the thrusts longer, deeper, until they start to drive Charity’s back off the bed. 

“Harder, Ness,” Charity hisses just as she starts to feel her whole body lighten, the tips of her toes buzzing in anticipation.

Vanessa groans with a mouthful of Charity’s flesh, sucking the skin sharply against her teeth in a way that Charity knows will create a bruise that’ll be there for days and she fists her hands in Vanessa’s hair, urging her on, holding her mouth in place until Vanessa realises that she wants, no, that she _ needs _ more, starting all over again on unblemished skin when she’s done. 

It feels like Vanessa’s everywhere when Charity inhales, touching every inch of her body. The inundation is like a balm; it’s healing, it’s searing, it’s everything that Charity loves about Vanessa all at once. She’s closer now, closer and closer to the fall, can hear her pleasure bouncing off the walls of the small cottage as Vanessa starts puts the full strength of her arm behind every thrust. 

“_ More _, babe,” Charity gasps, as her heart starts to flutter and her vision starts blurring at the edges. She knows it sounds beyond desperate but she’s so far past caring she can’t even see it anymore. “I just… more, just…”

She feels Vanessa slide another finger in on the next stroke, the burn a pleasure she leans into as she feels Vanessa’s body lay low against hers. It grounds her, the stability of it over her own as she crashes her hips down on Vanessa’s hand recklessly. She can hear Vanessa whisper things in her ear as she brings Charity hurtling towards something, the words sinking through muscle and bone to her heart, promises and longing and nothing and everything until she’s clenching around Vanessa’s fingers, until she’s coming hard, hard, _ hard _, the moan rushing into Vanessa’s mouth. 

She expects Vanessa to slow as she feels the waves move through every inch of her body, to the ends of her toes, to the tops of her fingers, as they start to dissipate and recede but she doesn’t, she keeps going, she keeps driving, her tongue moving against Charity’s hungrily, her breath ragged and rough to match Charity’s own. 

“One more,” Vanessa says against her mouth, the tension in her shoulders and the clenched muscles in her arm as she holds herself over Charity one of the most beautiful things she’s ever seen, because it’s for _ her _ , that burn, the strain, it’s for her pleasure, _ all _ for her. “I want one more, Charity. Give me one more.”

She’s never been one to refuse Vanessa anything, in complete juxtaposition to the way she’s been with everyone else her entire life, so when she calls Charity like that, when she _ demands _, Charity finds that she’s completely and utterly powerless to resist. The second takes her breath completely and leaves her gasping against Vanessa’s throat, her whole body strung out, her nails sharp across Vanessa’s back, pulling a moan out of her too before she collapses beneath Vanessa, her whole body mellowed with a white buzz as Vanessa drapes herself over Charity, her touch soft over her still humming skin as Charity comes back to herself. 

“What was that about an animal?” Vanessa says with a laugh, her voice warm and comforting as she places a kiss to Charity’s shoulder. 

“Gimme a minute, babe,” Charity says patting her between her shoulder blades weakly. “I don’t think I’m with it enough to try and speak yet.”

“Charity Dingle, speechless, eh?” Vanessa smiles, hovering over her as the room starts to settle into focus around her. “There’s a sight you don’t see every day.”

“Watch it, you,” Charity growls but there’s barely any weight behind it because Vanessa’s not wrong, so she settles for wrapping her arms around Vanessa’s shoulders instead.

Vanessa nuzzles her cheek against Charity’s softly. It’s warm, the gesture, it feels like the home Vanessa has carved out for her at her side and Charity can feel it settle over her like a second skin. 

“I love you too, babe,” Charity says quietly, as though a lower volume might extend the paused reality hanging around them. “You know that, right?”

“Yeah,” Vanessa mumbles into the glowing heat of the crook of her neck, her grin widening against Charity’s skin. “Yeah, I do.”

“Bloody hell,” Charity says once her breathing normalises and Vanessa slides off her to curl herself into Charity’s side, her arm still around Vanessa’s shoulder, playing gently with her hair. “Good thing I’ve got the whole weekend to recover from that, isn’t it?”

“Bit worn out, are you?” Vanessa asks with a laugh, and Charity can’t help but stare at the way Vanessa’s happiness is almost visible around her. 

“Aren’t you?” Charity questions, giving Vanessa as much of a side-eye as she can manage while she twists a few strands of her hair around her fingers. “Where’s this energy come from, then? Did you have something else in your wine that you forgot to put in mine?”

“It’d be a damn shame if you were really that tired, you know,” Vanessa says in a slightly higher tone that catches Charity’s heartbeat with it. “Slight waste of a nice place like this if you were ready for sleep now.” 

“Who said anything about being ready for sleep?” Charity asks as the fatigue falls from her like melting snow and she narrows her eyes at Vanessa. 

It’s like magic sometimes, the way their bodies seem to react to each other. Vanessa smirks as Charity pushes her onto her back, holding eye contact as long as she can as she drops her mouth and takes Vanessa’s nipple between her teeth. 

“Sleep is out of the question, thank you very much,” Charity husks, feeling Vanessa’s muscles tighten beneath her in anticipation as she slides her thigh between Vanessa’s legs. “Because I think you’re two for one right now, babe, and I can’t have an uneven score like that to my name, can I?”

“Absolutely not,” Vanessa says, shaking her head and tipping her chin to the side to give Charity greater access to her throat when she moves her lips up Vanessa’s body. 

“Two for me, two for you is only fair isn’t it?” Charity says factually, her hand replacing her thigh.

Vanessa can only bite her lip and nod in return. “God, that competitive streak comes in handy sometimes,” she says breathlessly as her eyes flutter closed and Charity leans down to whisper into her ear. 

They’re never short of passion when they fall into bed together after an evening of wrangling children and punters but there’s something about tonight that feels different, that feels like a turning point for them, because Charity Dingle doesn’t go to things like this without making a mess of the evening, she just doesn’t. And yet, in spite of the fact that she spent the better part of the night in a room full of the most boring people this side of the equator, trying not to think about fucking her girlfriend in the coat check closet, she actually had fun. Normalcy is something she’s resented her whole life, but she’s beginning to admit to herself that she can see the occasional benefit to stability when this is the reward.

“You have no idea, babe,” Charity replies wickedly before biting down on an unmarked part of Vanessa’s neck and dipping the tips of her fingers low enough to make Vanessa groan. “You have _ absolutely _ no idea. But you’re about to.”

**End**

.

**Author's Note:**

> [tumblr](http://tigerlo.tumblr.com), [twitter](https://twitter.com/tigerlo_) etc. 


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